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‘The Fast and the Furious’ is so bad it’s … no it’s just bad

Hollywood Soapbox logoThe Fast and the Furious somehow has spawned one of the most lucrative film franchises in history. It seems as if every summer there’s a new adrenaline-rush release featuring cars and muscles. It’s become The Land Before Time of the fast-car sub-genre.

However, when inspecting the original film from 2001, the success of these movies is mind-boggling to comprehend. The original, starring Paul Walker and Vin Diesel, feels like a rip-off of other car movies and a bad imitation at that.

Walker plays Brian O’Connor, an undercover detective who infiltrates the underground racing scene in Los Angeles. He wants to nab Dominic Toretto (Diesel), the kingpin of the racers, and he figures one of the best ways to get close to the criminal is by befriending his sister, Mia (Jordana Brewster). Michelle Rodriguez fills out the principal cast as Letty, Dominic’s girlfriend.

The premise is not that bad, but the payoff is so painfully obvious. There’s a certain exhilaration that is achieved when watching these races in the streets. These are bad boys and bad girls who are evading the police, getting into fights with rival gangs and enjoying their weekends like cinematic characters from the 1950s. I was half-expecting Dominic and Brian to break out the leather jackets and start singing “Grease Lightning.”

So how does a safe bet go so horribly wrong? The dialogue from Gary Scott Thompson, Erik Bergquist and David Ayer (based off a magazine article by Ken Li) is stilted and manufactured to the point of being laughable. Every character seems to speak in convenient one-liners, and they never break from the posturing muscles and empty threats. Honestly, most conversations go like this: “You looking at my girlfriend?” “No, I was looking at your car.” “Why you looking at my car?” “I don’t know. Want to race?” “Let’s do this.”

The actual race scenes, staged by director Rob Cohen, are worth a look. They don’t trump similar sequences in The Italian Job or even later Fast and Furious films, but they’re acceptable. The problem is that audience members could care less about the characters on the inside of these impressive cars. The acting is bordering on atrocious. Diesel and Walker say their lines, and it’s difficult to believe their bubbling-over rivalries and passion. The only one with a pulse is Rodriguez, who somewhat overplays her part of Letty. The characters are so empty that the surprising finale feels unearned and anti-cathartic.

The Fast and the Furious is furiously maddening.

By John Soltes / Publisher / John@HollywoodSoapbox.com

  • The Fast and the Furious

  • 2001

  • Directed by Rob Cohen

  • Written by Gary Scott Thompson, Erik Bergquist and David Ayer; based on a magazine article by Ken Li

  • Starring Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez and Vin Diesel

  • Running time: 106 minutes

  • Rated PG-13 for violence, sexual content and language

  • Rating: ★½☆☆

John Soltes

John Soltes is an award-winning journalist. His writing has appeared in The New York Times, Earth Island Journal, The Hollywood Reporter, New Jersey Monthly and at Time.com, among other publications. E-mail him at john@hollywoodsoapbox.com

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